call me a whiner - I don't freaking care

Listening to: Fall Out Boy 'Send Postcards From A Plane Crash (wish you were here)'

So, the last few days have been frustrating in so many ways.
I haven't talked to someone I considered one of my best friends in over a week, which is weird cause usually we talk every day all the time, but he wont return my phone calls or respond to my texts, and he haven't been online on Messenger that often, and when he has been he haven't contacted me at all. This made me worried about him, so Sunday night I sent him a text telling him that I was worried, not a sound in response. A few hours later he talked to me on Messenger as if nothing had happened, and I decided to let it be, and just take "the talk" about the past week later on cause I was kinda in the middle of something when he wrote me. But then all the sudden, out of the blue, he got all cold, and after a few cold responses he stopped replying.
I haven't contacted him since, cause I feel that this is his responsibility - it's him who have been ignoring me, and I can't keep up texting him or calling him to figure out what's going on with him.

Then there was a change of plans about this weekend, and the party there was meant to be a our friends' house is off, which gave me a few probs about places to stay, but Nikki and I got a deal with my friend Stine to crash at her place Friday. Then I was left with Saturday as a problem, so my Jonas asked if him and me could stay at this friend I thought was of my best friends' place. Jonas could, but there was no way that there was room for me there. That made me a little suspicious.
But now I just found out that a few of our other friends are staying there too. So now I'm seriously pissed at him. If I did something wrong he could at least have the decency to tell me!

And then there's this girl that I have been friends with for a bit more than half a year. Since November I guess. She's always had tiny things that have annoyed me, but I have put up with it, cause hey, we can't all like everything about each other.
But now it has just become too much. The more I think about it, the more I dislike her, and get annoyed by her. And I feel really bad about it, cause I don't think that she even realizes the things she does.
I just think that she is so self-centered and shallow and attention-desperate, and I just can't stand those kinda things.
She turns things that should be private and intimate and are actually really bad into some kind of circus to get attention, and it makes nauseated. I think it's sick and wrong those things that she does, and my honest opinion is that this girl needs some kind of help.
It is true though that she has been through a lot in her life, and that it must have been really tough for her and her family - but so have I, and I don't go around whining about it all the time just to get attention.
I hate her pity-crusade. It's wrong, it's sick and she needs help.

Normally when people gets on my last nerve I tell them, but how the Hell should I ever be able to tell her this?!
Everyone thinks that she is "soooo brave" and that she is "such a good person", so if I ever point this out to her she can tie them around her little finger in a second and I will end up losing a lot of people I really care about. I am starting to believe that that is what have happened with my (ex) best friend, cause he sees her as some kind of goddess that are unable to make mistakes, another thing that makes me wanna puke.

Many people might raise an eyebrow about this statement and think "hey, she's so obviously jealous", and trust me, I have gone that side of the story over and over again in my head. But no, it has nothing, whatsoever, to do with jealousy, cause she has nothing that I am interested in.
I am not interested in the kind of attention that she constantly seeks, I am not interested in being looked at as the "never-failing goodie goodie". No way, cause that is not me.
I just think that people are giving her attention on a false basis, and my respect for her sinks deeper and deeper every time I hear from her.

And I will end this now before my head explodes.
Thank you for putting up with my irrational, and extreme, garbage. All I know is that it really loosened up to get this out of my system cause I have been carrying it around for a long time now.
Let's just hope it doesn't escalate this Friday where I am forced to fake a smile for her.

This is my life....

So ...  my day has been as following;
woke up around 10, stayed in bed till around 10.30, just enjoying the warmth of the sun in my face.
Then I got up, and scrambled around the kitchen to find myself some breakfast. Then I sat and talked to my dad, when all the sudden I remembered I had a bus to catch.
Then I met my mom, and gave her the paint for my grandpa. Then she drove me down to the gym, and I spent around an hour on working out.(GORGEOUS girl in the dressing room, and all the sudden her amazing breasts were in my face, me just begging to God not to let this be a dream *dies*)
After that I went to shop some fruit for my little get-together-thing tomorrow, where two of my friends are coming over. I found a bag of 200 waterballons - which, of course, I just had to own! and a package of oil crayons, that I had been looking for for around a million years - creativity here I come :D
And then I had to run to catch the bus, but I made it. Then I called my piercer to ask him what my planned new piercing is gonna cost, and he told me that he doesn't even make those, because of the infections it can cause. Well, that was a huge bummer - now I have to decide if I want it anyway, and just take real good care of it, or not - dammit!
Then I got home, and realized that I had forgot to buy strawberries, miv...  

But now I am just talking to Theo and Jonas (arhww *dies* dammit hating love) on MSN, and should actually be going to my room and vacuum it all  .___.

Let's see how that works out, wish me luck, folks...

Peace, and keep the faith, all of you creepers out there.

we are the waiting

Just sitting here listening to Green Day Are We The Waiting/St. Jimmy, and just thought that I would throw something out here before leaving to be all family-social with fake smiles and nice clothing. Yup, story of my life...
Earlier this day I was talking to a friend on MSN, cause yeah, that's where I live my life during normal days, and it occured to me that even though he and I have only spent a few hours together just him and me, he is one of the friends that I have that I haven't know for a long time that knows me the best.
It was kinda scary to think about, cause usually it takes people years and years to get under my skin, to really get to know me. But not him, not this kid, he just got to me.
He's a lot younger than me, and it shows sometimes, but I really don't think about it, cause I feel comfortable around him. I feel comfortable about telling him my thoughts, my secrets, letting him know my life - aspects of my life that I'm not even sure my best friend knows about.
It scares me. It really does. It scares me that I can be so vulnerable to a person that I haven't known for more than a few months - and it's a boy, a guy, a man, he's XY-chromosed - and those are the one that frigthens me to death.
And now I just sit wondering; how the hell did he get to me? what's with this boy?
I can only say one thing - I love him, I hope I'm not scare him off, he means alot to me.

Yeah, there might be alot more here about him, crazy talk or something like that..
afterall...  crazy talk is what I do best.
Now I will hear In The Closet (oh yum, Michael Jackson moaning *dies*) and then I will leave to be superficial and nice to people that doesn't like me.
See ya out there, bloggers, stalkers, and other airheads.

Peace, and keep the faith